Atlanta’s Startup Interns Are on Strike!

Atlanta’s interns have had it. For too long, they’ve been overworked and underappreciated. With finals around the corner, they’re putting down their file folders and are taking to the streets. Are you a startup boss and are wondering where your afternoon coffee with milk and two sugars is right now? “Get it your damn self,” claimed one intern who wished to remain anonymous. Another intern furthered this sentiment by stating, “I’m sick and tired of writing blog posts for my boss’s inbound marketing strategy. If he’s so intent on top quality content, he should pull up to his keyboard and get to typing!” Led by backend development intern and Georgia Tech CS major, George P. Burdell, the city’s interns have unionized and formed the United Coalition for Intern Betterment. They have compiled a list of demands and refuse to get back to work until those demands are met. We recently spoke with Burdell to get his take on the issue and hear what exactly his union wants.

1) Unlimited Velveeta shells and cheese. We’ve lived off Kraft long enough

2) Access to the executive washroom (we’ve only heard that it exists; we’re not actually sure it does, but we want in)

3) Payment that’s not in the form of cheap beer

4) Access to Devon Wijesingh’s Ferrari and Urvash’s Tesla

5) Our pick of any clothing item from Dr. Paul Judge’s closet

6) iPads made of gold

7) A pledge that our grueling hours at your startup won’t turn into a job at Target at the end of the summer

8) Remove the oppressive rules that say beer pong can only be played after 4pm. Do we live in North Korea?

Burdell says that the strike will last, “as long as it needs to.” However, one student protester told us that he’d put down his picket sign if his boss would give him a solid letter of recommendation. The Hypepotamus team will remain on the streets and continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Stay tuned for more updates.

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